DONE WITH XANGA..... THERE'S THE SKY THE OCEAN AND THE GROUND.... PEACE

                                             JaN. 27,2004
                                            5:11 p.M.

mOoD: fUcKeN hApPy
WuT i'M dOiN: tAlKiNg To tItAh OnLiNe
WuT i'M tHyNkInG: pEePo PeEpO pEePo GET A LYPH!!!!
wUt I'm LiStEnInG tO: sONg On MaI sItE

SuP cHiCkS n DiCkS... wElL i OnLiE sTaE rItIng In ThiS cUz I bOrEd.. CuZ mAi BaYbEe IsH sLeEpInG..gOd.. PeEpO mAn... ESPECIALLY  iNtErMiDiAtE... DaMn... FiTing FoR tHa DuMbEsT rEaSoNs... I tHoUgHt Us HiGhSkUlErS rEaSoNs WeRe DuMb EnUf.. But MaN... iNtErMiDiAtE mOrE wOrSe...AyE ... n-E wAyZ.. mAn DrAmAz Up In MaI lYph OnCe AgEn... BuT iT's StOoPiD... sToOpId EnUf ThAt It StAe FuNnY.... mIcHeLlE tOld mIsTiE tHaT aShLiE sEd MeEh N sHyaNnE tAlKing ShIt AbOuT lAa.. N aShlIE nEvEr SeD sHiT... pLuS mEeH n ShYAnNe NeVeR tAlkEd ShiT aBoUt LaA... wE hAvE a lYpH.. wE hAvE bEtTeR tHiNgS tO dO iNsTeAd Of FuCkEn TaLK ShiT...  I oNLiE tALkInG aBouT hEr NoW  To (In RoBiN's WoRdS) EXPLAIN mY sElF.. i SwEaR... FuCk mIcHeLle'S  sUcH a *fIlL iN tHa BlAnK* pEePo NoW dAiZ r SoOoOOo..... FuCk.. mEeN n ShY hAvE nUtIn To SaI aBoUT lAa.. FuCk MiChElLe ShOuLdN't ASSuME.. sO fUcKeN.. AhHHhh  WeLl ImA gO...THERE'S THE SKY THERE'S THE OCEAN NOW THERE'S THE GROUND.. PEACE

EdIt It:                               JaN. 26,2004
                                          6:18 p.M.

ToDaI iSh My FuTuRe MoMmY iN lAw'S b-DaY (dEaNs MoMmIe) HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNTY BREEZE!!!

i MaDe HeR sUmThInG tHaT sEd "HAPPY BIRTHDAY".. sHe AcTuAlLY lIkEd It.. .. O n ThAnX tItAh FoR dOiNg MaI sItE.. lOvE yOOH lOtS...wElL DaS aLl I gOtTa SaY...  THER'S THE SKY AND THERE'S THEY GROUND.... PEACE

                                           JaN. 24,2004
                                            10:07 p.M.

mOoD: cOnFuSeD
wUt I'm DoInG: tHyNkInG
tHoUgHt Of ThE mOmEnT: wHy Am I dOiNg ThIs To MySeLf?
WuT i'M lIsTeNing To: MeEh TyPiNg

SuP cHiCkS n DiCkS ... wElL sOrRiE i HaVeN't BeEn UpDaTiNg... MaI sToOpId IdIoTiC sIsTaH dId SuMtHiNg WiT tHa CoMpUtEr So NoW It'S bAq To dIaL uP fOr NoW... n-E wAyZ.. fRiCk MaN i HaTe MySeLf So MuCh... I dUnNo Y i'M dOiNg ThIs To MySeLf... I'm OnLiE lEtTiNg "IT" hUrT mEeH... wEn I cAn Do SuMtHing To pReVeNt It.. BuT i'M jUs ScArEd... I'm ScArEd ThAt LaTeR oN i WiLl ReGrEt N tHiNk "WuT wOuLd It BeEH lIkE iF i HaDn'T DoNe "ThAt"".... N i DoN't WaNt To Do That.. FuCk mAn... No OnE kNoeS wUt I'm GoInG tHrU.. i'M sCaReD tO TeLl N-e OnE cUz ThEy'Re JuS gOnNa SaY "fOr GeT "IT""... n I nEeD mOrE tHaN tHoSe ThReE wOrDs...... WeLl We GoT oUr RePoRt CaRdS oN fRiDaY.. fUcK mAn.. I fLuNkEd My FrEsHmEn yEaR.... dUn'T rEaLlY wAnNa TaLk AbOuT iT rItE nOw... N iF n-E oF mY cUzInS rEaD tHiS... DO NOT aNd I rEpEaT DO NOT tElL mY mOm ThEm... oR eLsE u WiLl rEcIeVe CrItIcAl PaYbAcK... n I'm SeRiOuS  ... mAn I fEeL rEaLlY ReAlLy bAd FoR mAi MoMmY dEm...tHeY sPoIl MeEh... N i FeEl rEaLlY bAd... sO fAr ThIs Is WuT i Got FrUm ThEm: a NeW fLiP fOnE, A sHiRt ThAt CoSt $50, PaNtS tHaT cOsT $30, A cHaIn ThAt CoSt $59, aNoThEr ChAiN tHaT cOsT.. i DuNnO hOw MuCh, "ThA dOwN lOw"  CD tHaT cOsT $31... FrIcK mAn i FeEl So BaD... ... fRiCk.. LyPh BiTeS.. wElL i GotTa Go.. I dUnNO wEnS tHA NeXt TiMe ImA uPdAtE.. wElL iF u NeEd To tALk CaLl MeEH.. 3428006.. THERE'S THE SKY AND THERE'S THE GROUND.. PEACE

EdIt It: I GOT A NEW CELL FONE!!!! iT's A sMaLl FlIp FoNe.. n I dOn'T reAlLy gOtS tO WorRy bOUt MaI miNuTeS.. cUz I gEt FrEe MiNutEs At NiTe sTaRtIng At NiNe... n I gOt FrEe WeEkEnDs... bUt MaI mOnThLy i oNLiE gEt 400 mInUtEs... GoOD eNuF jUs As LoNg As I gEt FrEe NiTeS n WeEkEnDs.. mAI nEw CeLl NuMbeR iSh  3428006.. well ima go

                                            JaN.17,2003
                                              1:40 p.M.

mOoD: cOnFuSeD
wUt I'm DoiNg: ChAtTin WiT tItAh N dEeNa OnLiNe
WuT i'M tHyNkInG: i ThInK i ScReWeD uP aGeN
wUt I'm LiStEnInG tO: tHa SoNg On MaI sItE

hEy PeEpO.. wElLpS lEmMe JuS sTaRt OfF bAi SaYiNg.. I'm GoInG bAq OuT wIt DeAn... He AsKeD mEeH bAq OuT nOt To LoNg AgO... wE dEcIdEd To JuS cOnTiNuE wIt ThA dAtE wE sTartEd GoInG bAq OuT... sO aS oF rItE nOw.. We BeEn GoInG oUt FoR lIkE oNe MoNtH aNd 8 DaIz... I kNoE.. sOmE oF mAi FrEnZ tHiNk I'm StOoPiD fOr DoInG tHiS.. bUt... MaN... i BeLiEvE iN sEcOnD cHaNcEs... B4 iN iNtErMiDiAtE dOeS nOt CouNt.. CuZ wE rEaLlY dIdN't Do N-e ThInG... sO yA... bUt LoOk...  A cOuPlE oF mAi fReNz R "kIndA" aGaInSt It.. N i ReSpEcT tHaT... tHeY jUs DoN't WaNt MeEh tO gEt HuRt AgAin.. BuT iT's MaI dEcIsIoN u KnoE... aNd If I dO gEt HuRt AgEn... I wOn'T tUrN tO u GuYS fOr HeLp.. OkIe?... BuT hU i'M REALLY rEaLlY sOrRiE tO iSh MATTHEW LEIGHTON IBANEZ... i ToLd HaVeN tO hOoK mEeH bAq Up WiT hIm... N hAvEn dId TeLl HiM n He Wus AlL iN fOr It.. BuT tHeN lAtAh hAvEn tHeM fOuNd OuT tHAt I wUs "sEeInG" dEaN... n MaTt GoT mAd At HavEn... N wUt I wAnT mAtT tO kNoE iS...

i knoe that yooh don't want to talk to meeh no more after wut jus happend.. and i'm really sorrie... no words can explain how sorrie i am.. i guess i screwed up once agen... but i'm onlie human.. i still have feelings for yooh... but for rite now... i feel like tha person for meeh is dean.. i dont knoe y.. but it's like God is telling meeh to stae wit him for now..n that's what i will do.. i'll see where this leads meeh to... there isn't a day that goes by that i don't think of yooh..n i knoe that i'm not being fair.. cuz i sed i wus gonna wait for u on December 17,2003... but what did i do? i jus got up and left... i'm sorrie matt... one thing i never told u wus.. i love yooh..n i do... i really do... i care about u alot... i don't expect n-e thing from u after u hear this... i jus want yooh to knoe that i still care about u alot.. a whole lot... but i knoe this will one dai blow up in mai face..n that i will regret not going baq to u... cuz i'm all ready am.. but there's a place for u in my heart... a spesho place just for yooh... no one can and will replace that place in my heart.. it will all ways remain there... i'm really sorrie... i knoe sorrie does not cut it.. but i dont knoe wut to do.. i'm lost rite now.. u dont have to ever talk to meeh agen if u dont want... but it would make meeh happy if sum day u called meeh... but for now i guess it's good bye ... i love yooh...

oKiE i JuS hAd To SaY tHAt.. i DuNnO If He'S gOnNA gEt ThAt MeSsAgE... bUt ThAt'S hOw I'm FeElInG rItE nOw...FuCk I hOpE i'M dOinG thA RiTe ThiNg.. If NoT.. tHeN i DuNNO... i ReAlLy dOn'T wElL iMa Go.. THERE'S THE SKY AND THERE'S THE GROUND.. PEACE (mEeH n DeEnA's InSiDe JoKE)

    EdIt It:                                  JaN. 14,2003
                                                   4:06 p.M.

hEy PeEpO.. wElLpS.. wE wEnT bAq SkU tOdAi.... n I nEvEr FeLl ApArT... cUz He CaLlEd MeEh lAsT nItE @ 8:59 p.M.... mY fOnE iSh WeIrD cUz MaI cAlLeR i.D. OnLiE bEepS wE HE cAlLz.. OnlIE hIz NuMbEr.. I dUnT kNoE y.. N-e WaYz i TolD hiM i CoUlDn'T tAlK tO hIm N i WoULd HaVe To TaLk To HiM tOmOrRoW mOrNiNg (tOdAi)... N yA.. wE dId TaLk.. I tOld HiM tHaT i DoN't WaNt To gO oN tHa ReSt Of My LiFe IgNoRiNg YoOh.. I wAnT tO aT lEaSt BeEh FrEnZ... n He SeD tHaT wE aLl ReAdY aRe... ThEn i ToLd HiM "yOoH rUiNeD mY lIfE dEaN.. yOoH rEaLlY dId... I cRy eVeRy NiT bCuZ oF yOoH"... n He SeD hE wUs SoRrIe... N i SeD.. wHeN i ToLd YoOh "I LOVE YOOH" i AcTuALLy mEaNt It.. n He SeD.. "yA sO dId I".... n I tOlD hIm "i DuNt KnOE iF yOoH sTiLl CaRe FoR mEeH lIkE tHAt.. bUt SaDlY... i StIlL dO".. n He SeD... "i StIlL dO cArE abOuT u LiKe ThAt... I jUsT dOn'T kNoE rItE nOw"... N i AsKeD hIm "Am I cOrReCt WeN i SaY tHaT wE'rE jUsT fReNz NoThInG mOrE" tHeN hE sEd "No" aNd I asKeD "sO uR tElLiNg MEeH i'M rOnG?" n He SeD "i MeAn... uR cOrReCt FOR NOW"... tHeN hE hAd To GO kLaSs To cAtCh Up WiT sUm WoRk.. ThEn I wEnT tO tHa BeNcHeS... mEt Up WiT aNa ThEm... At AnA lIkE lIcK kIkI (kEliKo) So dAmN bAdLy... FuNnY.. wElL I jUs CaLlEd DeAn.. AnD yA i knOE i'M nOt SuPpOsE tO bEeH oN tHa FoNe.. BuT i HaD to TaLk To HIm fOr A lItTo wHilE.. hE sEd He MiSsEd TaLkIng To MeEh ... I stIlL lOvE hIm tHo.. hE lOvEs MeEh.. bUt For Now... JuS aS a FrEn.. OMG.. i FuCkEn aLmoSt FlUnKeD 9tH gRaDe Yo... ShIt.. I gOt An "F" fOr 2nD qUaRtEr FoR mAtH bUt A "D" fOr ThA sEmEsTeR...fUcK mAn... sHiT.. i JuS gOtTa SeE hOw i Do In AlL mY oThA cLaSsEs.. FuCK i HaVe To pRaY mY aSs OfF.. i KNOE i FlUnKeD cHiNg'S kLaSs... I gOt An "F" fOr HeR lAsT qUaRtEr.. iF i gEt OnE mORe "F" I fLuNk My FrEsHmEn YeAr ... I lIkE tHAt TeAcHer.. bUt WoRk StAe HaRd CuZ iT's CoLlEgE pReP.. dA dAyUm.. wElL iMa RaP tHiS uP.. gOts sUm HoMeWoRk tA dO... THERE'S THA SKY AND THERE'S THA GROUND...PEACE (meeh n deena's inside joke)

                                                JaN. 13,2004
                                                  3:20 p.M.

mOoD: sAd
WuT i'M dOiNg: TrYiNg To kEeP mYsElF fRoM cRyInG
wUt I'm ThInKiNg: He RuInEd My LiFe
wHaT i'M lIsTeNiNg To: sOnG oN mY sItE
pIcTuRe Of ThA dAy:
QuOtE oF tHa DaY: sOmEdAy YoOh'Ll CrY fOr MeEH lIkE i CrIeD fOr YoOh. SoMeDaY yOu'Ll MiSs MeEh lIkE i MiSsEd YoOh. SoMeDaY yOoH'lL nEeD mEeH lIkE i NeEdEd YoOh. SoME DaY yOoH'lL lOvE mEeH bUt I wOn'T lOvE yOoH...

hEy PeEpO.. i BeEn ThInKiNg... I cOuldA dOnE sOmEtHiNg AbOUt ThiS.. i COuLdA sToPpEd It.. BuT i DiDnT tHiNk He WouLD aCtUaLlY bRaKe It OfF... tHiS jUsT hApPeNd AlL oF a SuDdEn... He WaS hAPPy tO BeEh WiT mEeH oNe SeCoNd... ThEn lAtEr On... He JuSt LoSt It... He WOuLd AlL wAyS sAy HoW hE wAnTeD tO sPeNd HiZ lYpH wIt MeEh... WhAt HaPpEnD? wHy DiDn'T i StOp ThIs?  WhY dId I lEt ThiS hApPeN? .... eVeRyOnE tElLs MeEh It'S nOt MaI fAuLt... ThEN y Do I fEeL lIkE iT Is?... EvErYoNe ThOuGhT wE wOulD lAsT... eVeRyOnE wAs HaPpY fOr Us.. MoSt Of MaI fReNz... My FaMiLy ThAt KnEw AbOuT uS... dEaN's CoUsInS... dEaN's MoM.... i ThOuGhT i WoUlDa BeEn HapPy wItHoUt HiM.. bUt NoW i FeEl UsElEsS... wE gO bAq SkU tOmOrRoW... i KnoE i'M jUs GonNa FaLl ApArT.. dEaN dOn'T lIkE tO sEe AnD hEaR aBoUt MeEh cRyiNg.. CuZ iT bRaKeS hIz HeArT... wElL mAyBe DaS wUt He NeEdS.. a LiTtO tAsTe Of WuT i'M gOiNg ThRu... ... N aNa'S gOnNA bItCh At HiM tOmOrRoW.. n ThErE's AlOt Of PeEpo HaTiNg HiZ gUtS.. MAYBE tHeRe'S a LITTO gOoD iN tHiS ... wElL iMa Go... rItE lAtAh.. THER'S THA SKY THER'S THA GROUND NOW... PEACE (mEeH n DeEnA's InSiDe JoKe)

                         STRONG ENOUGH
I dOn'T tHiNk i'M sTrOnG eNuF
PuTtInG uP wIt ThIs FiTe iS kInD oF tUfF
i LoSt YoOh tO aNoThEr FaCe
I cAn'T bElIeVe ShE tOoK mY pLaCe
I dOn'T KnoE wHy YoOh DiD tHiS tO mEeH
i LoVeD yOoH sO mUcH cOulDn'T yOoH sEe?
i GuEsS i DiDn'T mEeT uP tO yOOh
So YoOh dEcIdEd To LeAvE mEeH bLuE
pEoPlE tElL meEh tO mOvE oN
bUt My FeElInGs FoR yOoH aRe noT yEt GoNe
ThEy tElL mEeH i DoN't NeEd YoOh
BuT mY bRokEn HeArT tElLs MeEh I dO
tHeY sAy YoUr NoThiNG bUt An AsS
I sAy I tHoUgHt We WouLd LaSt
WhO cArEs WhAt ThEy SaY
i JuSt NeEd YoOh bAq SoMeDaY
    wRiTtEn By: MeEh
    WrItTeN tO: lEiGhToN
    nOw DeDiCaTeD tO: dEaN

EdIt It:                               2:29 p.M.

HeY pEePo.. I'm So FrIcKeN depReSsEd.. I mIsS hIm So MuCh.. I kNoE tHIs MiTe SouND lAme.. BuT hE wUs MaI eVeRyThInG...hE wUs MaI lYpH... aNd He StIlL HaS mY HEART... wElL i WaNt To ThAnK pEePo Hu Is ThErE fOr MeEh RiTe Now.. FiRsT tHaNkS tO aShLiE fOr TelLInG mEeH i Can dO bEtTeR... i WaNt To tHaNk DeEnA: tHaNkS fOr BeIng HerE fOr MeEh.. tHaNkS fOr GivIng MEeH aDvIcE.. tHaNkS fOr MaKiNg MeEH lAuGh.. ... HaVeN: tHaNx FoR bEiNg ThErE fOr mEeH.. tHaNx FoR tAlkiNG tO mEeH wEn i NeEdEd SoMeOnE tO TaLk  To.. N cHeCkInG iF i'M dOiNg OkIe... N tHaNx FoR mAKIng MeEh lAuGh...MaN i DoNt ThInK i LaUgHeD tHaT hArD tHaT nItE... cOulDnT eVeN bReAtH.... i AlSo WaNt To ThAnK gEn FoR gIviNg mEeH aDvIcE..n I tHaNx ChElZ fOr InTrOdUcInG mEeH tO sToRmY... n I wAnT tO tHaNk QuEeNiE.... tHaNx FoR eVeRyThiNG... tHaNx FoR gIvIng mEeH uR aLl... i DuNnO wHaT i WOuLD dO wItOut U... wElL iMa Go... rItE lAtAh

mOoD: dEpReSsEd
wHaT i'M dOinG: cRyInG
WhAt I'm ThYnKiNg: I sTiLl LoVe HiM
wHaT i'M lIsTeNiNG tO: tHa SoNg On MaI sItE
QuOtE oF tHa DaY: sOmEtImEs I wIsH i WuS a LiTtO kId AgEn... SkInNED kNeEs ArE eAsIeR tO fIx ThAn bRoKeN hEaRtS

pIcKaTuRe Of ThA dAy:

I CAN'T do this... this is so hard.. i can't get over him.. no matter how hard i try... i thought it wus easy.. but then i got to thinking of it 24/7... and now i do nothing but cry... the song on mai site goes "we're better off separated" but we're NOT how can he jus do this to meeh... he promised meeh he would never brake mai heart AGEN .. then y did he do it? y did he make  a promise that he couldn't keep?... now all i got is a broken heart.. i thought i wus strong enuf... but i'm not... that's tha last thing i am... not onlie did i loose a boifren... but i lost one of mai BEST FRENS... what did i do rong?... fuck... it's surprising that mai broke heart continues to beat... i look at tha bears he gave meeh every damn day... that litto bear that says "I LOVE YOOH"... n that big ass blue bear.... n i still have his jacket.... i wore it last nite...n i cried mai self to sleep... i dunno how i'm gonna do in sku... i dunno how im gonna hold up... i see him all tha time in sku... i knoe first day ima cry wen i see him... n he won't care.. one bit.. i wonder if he's gonna rip tha pictures i gave him... and i wonder if he's gonna throw away tha shirt i gave him... and i wonder what hiz mommy's gonna say wen she finds out we broke up... well ima go... i have nothing else to say... THERE'S THE SKY AND THERE'S THE GROUND... NOW PEACE o N dO u GuYS wAnNa KnoE y He DuMpEd MeEh.. CuZ hE lIkeD mAI oNe Of MaI fOrMeR bEsT freNz KaThY mArKlE